Chosen Grace

Hey everyone, long time no see right? Well, I was planning on coming back- but I had began lent and one of my things to give up was social media (I’ll tell you guys about lent later). And I’m also winding down my senior year in highschool, so I’m always busy. I’ll try to post as often as I can. But enough of that…lets get into the blog post. 

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Today’s blog post is gonna get personal with you all. I believe that I am always personal, but this blog post is sort of special.

Some weeks ago, I went to the doctor. It was a routine check up:  shots, measurements- ya know the whole nine.

But for me I had a different concern this time: I believed that I had anxiety. Now, this belief didn’t just come out of anywhere- no. It had been gnawing at me for several months.

So, as I sat down and explained to the doctor why I felt I had anxiety and I listened to my mother echo my words and then some, he calmly looked at me and said: Yes. You do have anxiety. It’s with your personality type.

He explained more to me and it all made since- all the times I had bad headaches. All the times my heart would seem to skip beats. All the times I would be up into the wee hours of the night, no matter how tired I was.

Yep, anxiety was definitely living in me.

I was relieved to finally know that I did indeed have anxiety. But, something in me changed. And that is where the title of this blog post comes from.

You see, after hearing that I did have anxiety, I decided to take better care of my mental state. And for me, I had to go and seek some advice from the only place I know where to go: my Bible. And after searching, I found these words:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” –Philippians 4:6-7

And there it was, waiting for me. Anxiety and anxious are what I call “sister words”, so I knew these two verses we for me.

You see, Paul wrote these verses that encourage the church in Philippians, and yet it still gives light today.

After reading these verses, I knew that I must pray about any and everything- no matter how big or small. Because if not, I would go crazy running around trying to figure out this and that.

I also began to seek and understand that God’s peace is real. And it really will calm and focus you in the midst of everything. Even when anxiety threatens to stop your growth.

And let me tell you- I refuse to let anxiety stop my growth. 

So, I began to listen to the advice in these verses. I began to pray more about every situation- even the small things.  Things that I knew would pass easily….and the things that I knew would take time. I prayed all the time- and I still do.

Peace began to live in my heart, mind, and soul so strongly that I hardly even stress out over situations that have no place in my heart.

Now, that doesn’t mean anxiety won’t sneak up on me sometimes, because it will. But even in those distressing moments, I am still at peace because God will hold me when I can’t hold myself.

This blog post is a short one- it is coming to a close.

But before I go, I would just like to say that I know I am not the only one who struggles with anxiety. There are people all over the world, and some even reading this blog post.

I encourage all who struggle with anxiety and other mental disorders- to stay strong. And always pray. Because I will be praying your strength and my strength in the Lord. And always remember to protect your mental space- because it is important.

Your mental space is your gateway to everything besides your heart and soul. And if that is in disarray- everything else will be. I’ll say it again- protect your mental space. 

With love, peace, and prayers,

Malaysia