Chosen Grace

Last week at this time, I was at a program called Summer Seniors at the University of South Carolina. And let me tell you that I had an absolute blast.

But, what stood out to me was the fact that everyone there could be themselves, including me.

This intrigued me because at my hometown, I felt like I could not be myself. I felt as though I had to go with the flow and fit in with the crowd.

But not at Summer Seniors. There, I was myself and I was not judged for being Malaysia. I loved it and I miss being there.

I found Malaysia when I was at the program, and I am still keeping her. After years and years of running from who I was and how God programmed me– I finally accepted her. And I’ve been the happiest I have been in a long time.

Like Maya Angelou, I rise. Like Alex Haley, I found my ROOTS. And like my Savior Jesus Christ, I resurrected. It may not have been on that third day morning, but it was a bright and early morning that Malaysia found herself.

I am no longer ashamed of who I am and what I am. And through God showing me this He has also revealed unto me that He loves me like I now love myself–but greater. He told me that I loved you before the creation of you and I love you just the way you are. 

“Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble.” –Psalm 107:2

The verse above puts everything into perspective. You see, my finding myself was me getting redeemed. The psalmist wants those who God has redeemed to say so. And I am doing just that. I am redeemed.

And for all those out there that are struggling with identity–I tell you to love yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell you that you love you. For God knows you- before the world was even formed. And He loves you so much that He sent his only begotten son- Jesus Christ.

And loving yourself and being yourself is not easy– trust me. It took me 17 years, 7 months, 4 weeks, and a couple of days to finally love myself. I now love myself like God loves me.

I am redeemed. I am Malaysia: quirky, jazz loving, shy but bold, creative, Jesus loving, glasses wearing, left handed Child of the Most High. I love myself.

I am redeemed. 

With redemption and happiness,

Malaysia.