Chosen Grace

Here’s a little tea on me: I’m the oldest of three kids. My brother is 11 months younger than me and my sister is 6 years younger than me.

I love my siblings. And even when they try my nerves some days- I always try to support and love on them as much as I can.

The other week, my sister called me and told me about a situation she was enduring. She had heard discouraging news about an opportunity she wanted really bad. As I listened, I gave her this advice that had guided me during my final year of my undergraduate studies. And I want to share this advice with you all in this post:

“When a door shuts- let it. Something bigger is coming.”

You see, there are times in our lives where it seems that a door we keep knocking on is not opening. No matter how hard we jiggle the lock, press our faces to the door and look through the peep hole- the door will not open.

And when this happens, many of us feel discouraged. We start to wonder if God will ever allow the door to open. We wonder if our prayers are being heard. And we even start to wonder if we’re good enough for the door to open.

I had these exact same thoughts earlier this year when I was making my decision about graduate schools. I had only applied to two schools. Out of the two schools, there was one that I really had my eyes set on.

The school was perfect! It had the program I desired. Professors I wanted to work with were there and it was closer to home. So in theory, it felt like the perfect place.

But…it seemed like each time I tried to communicate with them, I only got cricket noises in return. Literally. I sent email after email, made call after call, and nothing was reciprocated. All I got was silence.

It seemed as though the door to the school of my dreams was sealed shut.

This discouraged me, because I’d always dreamed that I was going to go to that specific school. But it seemed as if things weren’t adding up so I could go in that direction.

On the other hand, the other school I had applied too was wonderful with responding to me. I got emails from them regularly. Professors I reached out to were kind and honest. And they even encouraged me to choose the school that fit my goals- even if it wasn’t them.

The only thing about them was that I really wasn’t interested in their program. Sure- I felt I could do the work, but I didn’t see how my goals would fit into their programming.

And so- I was a ball of confusion for many months regarding this situation. I knew I wanted God’s will in my decision making process but it was hard. I felt torn and overwhelmed.

Many of you reading this may feel the same way as I did. You may be waiting on a door to open and it just won’t budge. Or you may be trying to make a decision that just isn’t easy.

Whatever it is- I want to partner with you all and let you know that this is ok. Decisions are tough. But as long as we allow God into our plans- things will work out right.

Once I began to pray to God and truly ask Him to lead and guide me, He began to show me the way. After many long talks with God, and seeking wise counsel- I chose not to attend my dream school.

I decided to walk through the door that was wide open for me.

Once I did that- it seemed as though everything fell into place. God truly began to order my steps and I have seen the goodness of the Lord unfold. As school has now started, I see God’s glory in my choice vividly.

Now, while I have this perspective now- I didn’t always have this for sure trust that God was with me.

For the longest time after making my decision, I questioned if I had even made the right choice. I had many doubts, but God began to assure me the beauty of closed doors.

You see, when a door is closed-God is preparing you for something more. The closed door isn’t always rejection, but protection from things we want most.

See, I wanted the dream school. I wanted them badly. But God did not want that for me. God wanted me to walk through the door that he had already prepared for me. And if the door, opportunity, relationship, job, or whatever the case may be is not of God- the door will not open. Period.

And it’s the same thing for you. There are doors we want so badly for God to open. And there is nothing wrong with that. We’re human, after all. There will be things that we desire and Our Father knows that.

But sometimes what we want, may not line up with His divine plans for our lives. Now, there is good news- when the door is of God- it will open up for you as soon as you step to it. Our Father has already carved out the path for our lives, we just have to trust it.

Remember, “What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open” (Revelation 3:7).

I know this post was different- but I wanted to truly tell you all my journey with closed doors. Maybe this can help you see the closed doors in your life as a blessing.

Because they truly have been for me.

With love for closed doors,

Malaysia

P.S: I got an email from my “dream school” two days ago thanking me for starting an application, and giving me deadlines. I smiled- because God has already shown me His dream school for me. And I’m so blessed and favored to be walking in His promise for my life.