Chosen Grace

¨What´s the point of walking with God, when the world is so negative about God. What if the world is right…..and I´m wrong.” That is what I found myself thinking last week when I sat in my bathroom.

I almost quit. I almost gave up. And I almost gave in. Gave into the world and all its evil desires.

I had been going through a rough time. Like, it seemed as though every which way I turned- there was opposition to my God and my Savior Jesus. I was tired and irritated, to say the least.

I was so irritated, that I allowed myself to fall back (but not entirely) into my doubt system. My mind was being boggled down with doubts and irrational thinking, that I just decided to completely stop.

Stop caring. 

Stop hoping. 

Stop holding on. 

But, just as soon as I had thought about letting go, God swooped in.

I soon realized that what I was thinking was stupid, and that I need to recognize who it is that I serve. Once I did, that led me down onto my knees to pray for forgiveness. Then I felt a sense of relief.

That Sunday, my pastor preached about Asa and when he was king of Judah. He preached from 2 Chronicles 14, 15, and 16. But one verse struck me.

¨But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.¨ 2 Chronicles 15:7 

This verse touched my soul so greatly, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. You see, even though I had gotten forgiveness from God, I was still struggling about if I actually wanted to do this thing with Him.

Like: Lord, do I really wanna do this? Am I worthy enough to do this?

And after reading this verse, I knew that I had made the right decision. That walking with God is the way, truth, and life. 

I realized that I had my own cross to bear, so I picked it up and began running. It’s been an amazing process to behold.

I know now that my work is not in vain and that I have Jesus with me every day. I thank God for that, always.

One last point before I go: when I first looked back on my “giving up” experience, I couldn’t believe that I had been so foolish to such a thing. I was sort of ashamed. I felt like it didn’t make me a real Christian.

But, God has taught me a lot about grace through that experience. In a previous blog post, By Grace, I talked about grace and it’s funny how I soon found myself to be experiencing God’s grace full force.

Anywho, the grace of God kept me here. Because I would not be here today without it. We serve an amazing God, who deserves all of the praise.

So, I’ve let God had my life and I sit back and chill, and I’ve been loving the process. I don’t know where he’s gonna take me, but I do know that His plans for me are to give me a hope and a future.

He’s gonna do his part, I just gotta do mine. Which is to keep on truckin’.

With Love,

Malaysia.